Since ordering my copy of the Insanity Workout I have been incredibly excited, probably a little too excited. My entire immediate family knows about it and I find ways to worm it into conversations with other people as well. Most seem excited and wish me well, there have been a few more leery responses, questioning if I’m going to stick with it or not. I get a lot of variations of, “Oh my gosh, I hear that was so hard! You’re going to puke!” Seriously, why does everyone think I’m going to puke??
The one reaction that really made me stop and listen was my mom’s. My mother is a fitness queen… okay, not really but she’s in dang good shape. She gets up early every weekday and works out in the living room. She is trying to focus on eating healthier by substituting sugar with honey, butter with coconut oil, things of that nature. I value her opinion greatly when it comes to all around health. She was very surprised I was going for something so extreme in nature.
She wanted to know what I was doing to get ready for it. I was a little confused, get ready for what? I’m going to get the DVDs, it has a day by day schedule; I do what it tells me, I go through hell and hopefully reap the rewards at the end. She explained to me that if I jump into something so strenuous after being so… ah, let’s just use the word sedentary, that my body might not be able to keep up. She very kindly suggested I at least start stretching.
My head reels. Are you freaking kidding me? Now I have to work out to get ready to work out? In a sick twisted way it actually made sense, as much as I hated it. But could I actually do it? One of the main reasons I chose the Insanity Workout was not only for the enormous payoff but for the scheduled program. You do this work out on this day, end of story. Next day, next work out. I have Mr. Neurotic doing this with me so as to keep ourselves accountable. The work out even comes with a calendar so I can cross it off and have a happy little moment of accomplishment. But now I need to do some warm up activity in order to get to that point? Keeping myself committed to an exercise program has always been a weak point for me and I begin to feel the creeping tendrils of doubt wrapping around my positive outlook on this program.
I start small. Yoga and I have had an on-again-off-again relationship since high school. I love it while I am actively doing it but it always happens that I eventually decide that I get more benefit by sleeping in. I break out the yoga mat and start that again. I take a couple bike rides with my brother. I spend more time outside in the garden and playing in the grass with the little monster than inside in front of a screen. Yeah I know it’s not pushups or sit ups or jogging but right now I lack the discipline to keep myself to something like that. I’d cheat and I know I would.
The Will Fortifier:
I came to a realization that I have a serious lack of work-out clothes. Not wanting to sink a lot of money into this I head to our local Wally’s World in search of something that will at least cover the necessities. I have one ratty old sports bra at home that could very well be over 10 years old and I wasn’t sure how well that was going to hold up to the rigors of Insanity.
There’s a whole wall labeled sports bras that I check out. I pick a couple cute ones that look about the right size and head into the changing room. I have a little moment in my head standing in that small wooden cubicle… the last time I was in one of these I was there getting a pair of jeans because I just couldn’t fit into my others. At the time I pretty much avoided looking at myself and got in and out in the quickest possible way. Before that I couldn’t even remember the last time I had gone clothes shopping.
The mirrors are not flattering and the bras I have chosen don’t even come close to fitting. Frustrated, a little embarrassed but determined not to let a bra thwart me, I head back out and pick out a few more bras, larger this time. Has anyone ever noticed the larger clothes get the less manufacturers and designers seem to care how attractive they are? Less embroidery, less selection, and way down on the bottom rack. You have to really search to find something good. Almost like they’re saying, you’re big anyway, why do you need a cute pink sports bra? Nobody wants to see you in it anyway… jerks…
The larger bras fit and I stand for a moment looking at myself in the mirror. Yes, my body is squishy, extremely pale, has a few stretch marks. It is not what society would consider attractive… but it’s MY body and at that thought I feel a little steel creep back up into my spine. I’m not doing this to end up on the cover of a magazine. I’m doing this to be healthy, fit into my clothes and feel better about myself. I don’t care if it’s going to be torture, I don’t care if people doubt that I can do it, I don’t even care if I puke! I’m going to do this program and I am going to be better for it.
The fitting room attendant smiles sweetly at me when I hand her the reject bras. I’m sure she sees this thing every single day, women thinking they’re smaller than they actually are, going into the rooms multiple times trying on multiple sizes until they finally face reality that they are no longer the size they were 3 years ago. “Did those ones fit better for you?”
“Yup, we’re all good, thanks!” And we are; we’re all good. I leave Wally’s World with my head held high and 2 sports bras for $10.00. One was pink.
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